All the Stages of Grief

 All summer long we wondered if we would be going back to school. My three girls were really missing their community of teachers, staff and friends and I missed working at another building in our district. In our guts we knew we would most likely be home but there was hope that 'the virus" was going to be under control by the time our first day came around. We were no longer walking around stunned but a tiny bit in denial.

When we finally got the news that we would be remote until at least October 1st my body decided to shut down for two days. I could barely move and I was weepy. I had a weird mixture of emotions of relief for not having to make the choice and wanting my girls to be under my wing. In that same breath of emotion I was also so sad to not be with our school communities and I grieved the most for Ada who needed her village. I chose to let myself feel the feels and on day three I began to feel hope again. My mantra "it is what it is" repeated by my best friend and I often, kicked in and I began to ponder how we could make the best of what we were handed.

A few days later I had to run to the pharmacy. In reality, I really needed a moment away from everyone's needs. As I was backing out of the driveway I heard a loud crunch and I immediately knew what had happened. I pulled forward to hear that same crunch again and just nailed my horn really loud until Greg came out of the house. I got out of my car and saw what I knew to be true.  I had run over the girls' skateboard. Instead of being sad I picked up the skateboard, screamed very loudly and said "Here's their damn skateboard!" and chucked it across the front yard. Greg kind of just stood their stunned and I peeled away like a mad woman on my mission to pick up a prescription. 

I was annoyed by the skateboard, that's for sure, and I know I was taking all my anger out on that thing. I was and still am grieving parts of our lives that we have lost and that will be changed forever. There has been much about this time that I have valued but in the midst there is loss. A lot of loss that I am working my way through grieving all the stages. (I think I have yet to bargain...)

I share this because there is much in our minds and hearts that are unrevealed without communication. Together we can share and relate and know we can be in this together despite all the divisive situations happening in our world today. Have you had a skateboard experience in these past few months?

By the way, Greg was able to secure the skateboard with a metal piece on its bottom so it is now up and running again. :)