No Snapshots To Show

Last winter I began to write a "snap shot" of our lives to share with you but never could get myself to push the publish button. Somehow, it felt hollow and almost too hard to share in the moment. I had started working at our local high school last October as a para while still maintaining two other part time jobs. I wasn't expecting myself to return to work every day until my kids were older and I really loved the rhythm of being a stay at home mom so this change felt unexpected and I felt myself grieving.

Our lives were changing with our oldest being in middle school and myself having less time to get all the things done. For the past nine months I have felt the tension of what our new rhythm would be and where does "self care" come in. And, I'm not talking a manicure, which is totally a great thing to do, but I'm talking about when do I exercise now? When do I take a breath and realize what I'm thinking and believing? I am a person who needs time to process where I am spending my time and evaluate what is working. This tends to happen for me about every six months but in the past nine I have just been running and yelling to people along the way "What can I do?" or "What should I give up?" and "Can you please stop this treadmill so I can get off?"

I run into people around town, mainly school, and see comments on Facebook that say "I don't know how you do it!" UGH! That's not what I want my life to look like. I want to be the one you see and feel you can relate to and that we are walking in this together. I want to walk this road with you not only so I won't be alone in it but so that you won't be either.

I'm slowly coming into my own AGAIN and I am processing how to slow the pace down AGAIN.

I am going to try to push publish once a week until January. I am doing this for me but I hope it can help even one less person feel alone. Could you please keep me accountable?