Still Remaining (Or Trying to)

Remain. Its the word I've been meditating on this year and its meaning continues to change and morph for me. When my life feels out of control I can stop and remain where I am. Knowing there is enough right here in front of me. No need to look further. Remain in Him. Remain right here.

As a single person I kept busy serving other people. This can be good and I'm grateful for those I was able to love but so often it was done using my own energy. I didn't understand the goodness of remaining in my own home and taking care of myself first was essential. This carried over into married life and I always felt torn in how to do it all. Well, when I had kids I really believed things could remain the same. That I could do it all. Just grab the kids and pull them along. I felt selfish when I revolved around a child's bed time or their eating schedule. Did you just read that last sentence? How messed up is that?

This year of remaining has allowed me to love those who are in front of me. My husband, my three kids, my parents which include my Mom who is recovering from a stroke, the kids' classmates and their parents, neighbors and friends.

A few Sundays ago our friend John spoke. He again reminded us of our purpose as a family to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, souls and minds and to love our neighbors as ourselves. But who is our neighbor? With that he pointed out that who our neighbor is is not the point but is our heart ready to love that neighbor? I'm working on it. By remaining.

That same Sunday we sang this song called "You Deserve It All." The chorus says

Forever the same...
You never change,
You remain.

God never changes, He remains. I want to follow His example and remain. Remaining in Him I can grow to be who I am. To cast off the false self and be me ready to love my neighbor.


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